The Allure of Anonymity

An introduction poem from the writer behind Assemblage

I’m presenting something very vulnerable & out of the ordinary for me. Thus far, this publication has only included long-form writings & meditations. However, I love to read & write poetry as well! I have considered many factors before sharing the poem below with you all.

The first is that many journals & poetry competitions explicitly state that self-published poems can not be considered in the contest. The second is that poetry is how I think, view, & process the world. The third is the allure of anonymity.

In the Max documentary entitled Black Art: In the Absence of Light, Theaster Gates says a quote that I often think about.

"I don't want to work only when the light comes on. My fear is that we are being trained and conditioned to only make if there's a light on. And that makes us codependent on a thing we don't control. Are you willing to make in the absence of light?"

I believe I have the opposite problem. I love working in the absence of light! I love launching projects & not telling a single soul I know. I love writing pieces not knowing if they will ever see the light of day. I love typing away while I write pieces for this publication under the publication name. The absence of light is alluring, calming, & protective to me.

Yet, it is also true that I have dreams that require me to read my words out loud. I have dreams that require I turn on the light switch to invite others into my work. I have dreams of my work’s roots spreading far & wide to move folks I have never met.

To clarify, the dichotomy between light (good/open,) & dark (evil/closed) are beliefs that I strongly oppose. Primarily, because this dichotomy conditions children to associate light with Whiteness & dark with Blackness (along with their characteristics of good/evil) from a young age. But also because we unruly, rogue, wild, wayward, vernacular folk know the richness of the Great Dismal Swamp. We know the refuge that is the forest & rich dark humus soil. We know that Harriet Jacobs’ “loophole of retreat” was in fact a dark hole. What are dark holes if not expansive portals of vast prospects?

I’m interested in the vast prospects that rooting my practice in darkness affords me. While simultaneously unabashedly inviting folks to bear witness to what I’m creating (the parts that I feel moved to share).

This quote also came to mind when I consider the countless poetry competitions I have spent non-refundable money to enter without getting the result I had hoped for. These contests & prizes are something I don’t control. But what if I can press publish on this dream publication? This is something I can control & offer to the altar that is Assemblage.

So, here I am sharing my name & sharing a poem hoping the richness of where I am planted moves you. This is an introductory poem to who I am. Press play below to hear me read my work out loud 💙.

Film still from Daughters of the Dust (1991). An independent film written, directed, & produced by Julie Dash.

I am descended from the onyx seeds of healers,
embedded in, the Carolina gold rice fields.

I am the storyteller of 
how the bee helped the honeysuckle to grow.

I am the descended of long-limbed distanced lovers, stretching through the cloud-covered Combahee River,
stealing away suckled kisses

with sap to salve their cardinal hearts.
I am a long-distance runner racing with
the strength of a cavern of wind.

I am a lady with opal teeth,
clenched yet free.

My heart whispered weeping willows,
as I praise the ancestral sounds, rattling 
the honeycomb chambers of my heart.

I am my mother’s garden,
descended of onyx seeds.

Please remember if you choose to quote this piece, share this piece, or any piece on this publication to always CITE BLACK WOMEN. Please always include my name (Kay Brown) and a link to the Assemblage: Baby’s Breath substack publication in your sharing practice.

To further support my writing practice, receive additional offerings that connect to my pieces, & be the first to hear about other ways to engage in the theory of assemblage, please consider becoming a paid subscriber. Soon I will be inviting fellow unruly folks to practice gathering & honoring with me in a generous clearing ✨. Stay tuned for updates!

Remember, referrals are now available! This means you get to speak the name Assemblage: Baby’s Breath out loud to your community while receiving unique grounded gathered gifts from me. Thank you for being here 💙.